At this point in time, it is fair to say that people know what it means to be a helicopter parent. These hovering parents are enmeshed in their child’s life to an unhealthy extent. These parents often manage their child’s time and ensure their kid’s success. This parenting style has been widely discussed in newspapers, magazines, and TV. There are some benefits seen in helicopter parenting. Obviously, it is better to have an over-involved parent than a parent that is not involved at all, but many problems are seen in children of helicopter parents. Logically, problems arise during the time when kids leave their parents. This time is college.
There are a gross number of students in higher education that have lower levels of functioning because they had helicopter parents. These students lack the ability to manage their time, manage their money, motivate themselves to do work, do their laundry, cook their own food, find their way around campus, and the list goes one. Additionally, helicopter parents are notorious for ensuring their child’s success. In high school if little Timmy made a bad grade, mom could call the teacher and lobby for a B+ instead of a C-. In college, students who are used to being the “most special” and made great grades (some of which were negotiated by their parents) receive a rude awakening when they find out they are not the smartest in their college biology class. These kids can’t believe that their professor won’t curve their grades or let them do extra credit. Naturally, when all else has failed, these children in college will do the only thing they know how. They will call mom and dad.
Thank goodness that college, for the most part, does not support helicopter parenting. The New York Times reported on different tactics that universities in the Northeast employ to cut the cord from parents to kids. Scott Chesney, from the University of New Hampshire, wrote in an online letter to parents: ''I hope you see that at one level we embrace the notion of partnering with you to make your son's or daughter's experience as productive as possible. Frankly, however, we worry sometimes that your interventions may well be impeding your son's or daughter's climb toward independence." At the University of Vermont, students are employs as ''parent bouncers" during orientation to stop parents from wandering into workshops specified for students. Parents leave campus with magnets saying that they ought to ask their child before calling a professor, such as ''What do you think you need to do to work this out?" and ''Who have you talked to on campus about this?" These examples are just a few ways colleges are attempting to limit helicopter parenting.
Though these strategies are well intentioned and many times effective, technology and the nature of habitual behavior makes these parenting changes hard to enforce. Email, texting, and instant messaging keep parents as close as they want to be with their children. So what can be done? A start can be to begin these college interventions in high school. High school is when kids are trying to find autonomy and are skill building through trial and error. If you are a helicopter parent when your kid is seven or eight, you are being a good parent but if a parent is still micromanaging their 17 year old, something is wrong. High school professionals such as staff and educators can develop policy such as not negotiating grades with parents, facilitating helicopter parent support groups, and teaching parents the dangers of helicopter parenting. If these parents were to stop these behaviors, their children could become more independent and more prepared for their life as an adult in college and after. Thus, retention rates would increase on campuses all over the country. It is time we got back to supporting our kids and guiding them into adult hood instead of dragging them behind us.
Blog based on the New York Times article http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/11/business/yourmoney/11wcol.html
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