All of These Issues: So Now What?

On our blog site, we have addressed a range of child welfare issues. With so many issues being discussed in the media and brought to attention, it brings the question of what to do about them. At times, the world’s problems may seem overwhelming and when children are involved, heartbreaking. I thought I would use this blogging opportunity to bring some resources and things anyone can do to help address the many issues addressed by the media. But, always remember there are child welfare issues that do not catch our attention or make it into mainstream media and all of us should stay attuned to what those issues might be, too.

Resources:

As mentioned above, staying on top of child welfare issues can be overwhelming. Here are several resources you can access to stay on top of what is going on and how you can help:

Unicef.org or unicefusa.org- UNICEF (United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund)- UNICEF works in over 150 countries, working to provide children with health care, clean water, nutrition, education, emergency relief and much more. In the United States, there is also a fund supporting humanitarian relief through fundraising, advocacy, and education.
Childwelfare.gov- Child Welfare Information Gateway promotes the safety, permanency, and well-being of children and families by connecting child welfare, adoption and related professionals as well as the general public to timely, essential information.

Local Children’s Bureaus
New Orleans Children’s Bureau
Childrens-bureau.com

CWLA.org- (Child Welfare League of America)- The mission statement of CWLA is: CWLA will lead the nation in building public will to ensure safety, permanence, and well-being of children, youth, and their families by advancing public policy, defining and promoting practice excellence and delivering superior membership services.

Globalissues.org- Organized and maintained by Anup Shah he states “this web site looks into global issues that affect everyone and aims to show how most issues are inter-related.
There are over 550 articles on this site, mostly written by myself. The issues discussed range from trade, poverty and globalization, to human rights, geopolitics, the environment, and much more. Spread over these articles, there are over 7,000 links to external articles, web sites, reports and analysis to help provide credence to the arguments made on this web site.”
http://www.gocwi.org/resource_library/child_welfare.htm- This link is from the child welfare institute website and this link particularly offers a plethora of child welfare organizations that can be used as resources. The Child Welfare Institute is a nationally focused, nonprofit organization dedicated to providing quality consultation and training services to state, local and private child welfare and human service agencies.

Utilizing the abundance of resources available in the child welfare arena can help you stay informed about issues in this area and help you get connected to begin making a difference in children’s lives.

Advocate:
General Techniques for Effective Advocacy
1. Identify yourself
State your name and identify yourself as a constituent. Share other information about who you are if it is relevant to the issue (for example, if you are a parent, member of a civic organization, business owner, scientist, etc).

2. Be Specific
Include the name and number of the relevant bill. Clearly describe the issue and state your goals

3. Make it Personal
The best thing you can do as a citizen advocate is give the issue your individual voice. Use personal examples and speak in your own words.

4. Be Confident
Your official’s job is to represent you. You may also know more about the issue than your elected official. That is why it is a good idea to offer yourself as a source of information.

5. Be Polite
Always work on the basis that the government and your opponents are open to reason and discussion. If you are rude, your message will not be received

6. Be Brief
Communication that focuses strongly on one argument is the most effective. Keep it to one issue. Limit written documents to one page.

7. Be Timely
Your message is more likely to be considered if it is immediately relevant.

8. Be Factual
Use facts and statistics. Make sure the information you provide is accurate.

9. E-mail your elected officials NOW!
* Taken from: http://www.savethechildren.org/get-involved/advocacy/advocacy-techniques.html

And, of course, VOLUNTEER and DONATE!

Hedge Fund Managers Making Money for Kids

Hedge fund managers in New York may be better known for eight-figure incomes, which afford them the best Manhattan penthouses and Greenwich, Conn., waterfront estates. But they also are all on the boards of many of the city’s charters schools and support organizations. They include Whitney Tilson, who runs T2 Partners; David Einhorn of Greenlight Capital; Tony Davis of Anchorage Advisors; and Ravenel Boykin Curry IV of Eagle Capital Management.

The Tiger Foundation, started by the hedge fund billionaire Julian Robertson, gives a large amount of financial backing for a dozen charters across the city. Mr. Robertson’s son, Spencer, founded his own school last year, PAVE Academy in the Brooklyn, while his daughter-in-law, Sarah Robertson, is chairwoman of the Girls Preparatory Charter School on the Lower East Side.

“If you’re at a hedge fund, this is definitely the hot cause,” said Joe Williams, the executive director of Democrats for Education Reform, a nonprofit group that lobbies for charters and is financed by hedge fund players. “These are the kind of guys who a decade ago would have been spending their time angling to get on the junior board of the Met, the ballet.” Instead, they now have a social conscience and are putting their talents to work.

It is an AMAZING breath of fresh air to hear that Wall Street is doing something to positively impact our society. The truth is that these hedge fund managers are close to geniuses and any time they contribute to thinking about how to help charter schools will be a valuable asset. This story should be a standard for those elite and privileged professionals that show it only takes a small amount of one’s time to truly make a difference. I believe that the private sector will be the savior of this country and NOT big government. This is just an example of this actualization.

This blog is based on the New York Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/06/fashion/06charter.html

Children in Iraq Need H20.

There are many negative things that one can say about terrorists and military combatants in Iraq. I am sure that these fighters don’t care about what Westerners think about them but I would hope that these individuals care about their own children. Currently in many areas of Iraq, there is a danger water shortage. In 2010, four years after the Iraq war, millions of Iraqi children are unable to access safe water. Efforts to repair Iraq’s war damaged water networks have been seriously disrupted by threats and violence regarding technicians and engineers. Due to damage during bombs and explosions, there are ongoing electricity shortages which effects water pumping.

The majority of Iraqi families depend on municipal water piped directly into their homes. But many of these pipes and related systems are not functioning because of war destruction. Pipes are many times cracked, corroded and leaking, which causes water wastage and allows sewage to get in the water. The fact is that some water networks are turning into homes for dangerous waterborne diseases.

What these terrorists, who are attacking American soldiers, American workers, or other non-militant Iraqis, fail to realize is that their fighting and attacks are disturbing the water supply in their country. Not to be a bearer of bad news for these militants but they are hurting themselves and more importantly, their children by not having clean, running water. Even though these militants may never change their ideologies, they could at least not attack people trying to fix the water or have some insight into how a bomb may affect public water works system that children need and they, the militant, might need themselves. That would be an ironic twist of fate.

A terrorist plants a car bomb that goes off and a consequence of the blast is that a water pipe that goes to that terrorist apartment gets cracked, which allows bacteria and other dangerous micro organisms to mix with the water. The terrorist is thirsty, drinks his water, and then gets very sick from drinking dirty water. That seems like justice but I wouldn’t want that to happen an innocent kid or the kid of that terrorist.

This blog is based on the e-article found at http://www.unicef.org.uk/press/news_detail_full_story.asp?news_id=917

Suicide: Like Parent, Like Child

A recent large study has determined that people who lost a parent to suicide as a child or adolescent are more likely to also commit suicide. The data used for the study came from Sweden’s population registry, comparing 500,000 children to young adults who lost a parent to suicide, illness or accidents to almost 4 million children to young adults with parents who are still alive.

The study found that when a child or adolescent’s parent commits suicide, that child or adolescent had a “three-fold increased risk of dying by suicide themselves”. However, with young adults, between ages 18 to 25, whose parents commit suicide did not have the elevated risk of committing suicide.

Suicide itself is typically a rare event, and according to the researchers between 7,000 to 12,000 children lose a parent to suicide each year. However, this study provides evidence in confirming the “hereditary risk of suicidal behavior”.

Holly Wilcox of the John Hopkins Children’s Center and lead author of the study reminds readers that hereditary predisposition is not the only risk factor, “it appears from our results that all factors- developmental, environmental and genetic- are important”. She also noted that steps to prevent a child or adolescent who lost a parent due to suicide from committing suicide themselves. These preventative steps include early identification and treatment of depression and educating the surviving parent to be “more sensitive to any psychiatric problems that come up”.

This blog is based on an article from CNN titled “Study: Children of Suicide More Likely to Take Own Lives” by Elizabeth Landau. To read this article, visit http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/21/suicide.children.hereditary/index.html?iref=allsearch

Money for Grades

The concept of rewarding children and adolescents with money for good grades is not a new one. Parents all over the country have used this method, some finding an increase in their child’s grades, some not. This approach also has sparked a debate: some saying it is a short-term approach or that it promotes results instead of learning. On the other hand, it does prepare children for the real world, where your paycheck is often correlated with your performance and results.

The National Bureau of Economic Research has completed the first longitudinal study about the topic provides statistical proof that paying students directly for their performance is effective. According to the Newsweek, the participants in the study, Texas high-school students, who received a cash reward for passing Advanced Placement exams had better GPAs and also an increase in “college attendance, performance, and the likelihood of earning their degrees” down the road.

The positive effects of cash rewards were seen the most among minority participants, with “African-American students 10% more likely to enter college, and 50% more likely to persist through graduation”.
The study’s author Kirabo Jackson, a professor at Cornell University, says that cash rewards gives children an excuse to do well in school. Many children do not want to try to succeed in school because they will be perceived as geeky on not cool. By giving the children an excuse to succeed, children can say “I don’t like math; I’m saving for an Xbox”.

The cost of administering the program was about $200 per student, and with such strong results; this method seems to be investment worthy. While most of our education policies focus on early interventions and test scores; this method would not only cost less, but also yield more positive results.

This blog is based on an article from Newsweek titled “Why Paying Kids to Study Works in Texas” by Toni Dokoupil. To read this article, visit http://www.newsweek.com/id/234186.

Putting a Stop to Bullying: It Takes All of Us

In recent headlines it feels like there has been an increase in children bullying one another to an unimaginable extent- to death. The recent news of Phoebe Prince (15 years old), as explained in the attached CBS News brief, needs to bring each of us to action. The CBS correspondent, Jennifer Ashton explains that recognizing the signs of bullying sooner and better can help prevent such tragedies. The important point made is that words are hurting children and teens and just because there are no physical signs of harm, does not mean there has not been any. In the article, it discusses that 32% of children 12-18 years old say they have been bullied. Ashton states, “It (bullying) involves the repeated malicious behaviors that continue over time.”

If children continue to be bullied in such a manner, Ashton suggests they may show signs of depression and anxiety, low self-esteem, lower school performance, which all may contribute to interrupted “social development.”
Here are some things you can look for:
• Comes home with torn or damaged clothing or missing belongings
• Has unexplained cuts or bruises
• Seems afraid of going to school, riding the bus or participating in activities
• Drop in school grades
• Complains often of physical ailments
• Has trouble sleeping or loss of appetite.

It is important to look for these signs because a child or teen may try to keep their hurt from others, possibly for fear of being harassed and bullied further. Ashton outlines some steps to take if you believe a child is being bullied:
• Gently confront them about what is going on and encourage disclosure
• Allow ample time for a response
• Reassure they have done the right thing and that they do not deserve such treatment
• Inquire what steps they would like to take
• Help them learn coping skills and how to reduce harassment
• If occurring at school- speak with administration, teachers, etc

Lastly, Ashton writes that if we want children to be in a bully-free environment, than adults must be the role models and not contribute to the problem.

I came across this news brief on CBSnews.com and it caught my attention. Recently, I have feel like there has been an increase in coverage of children who have taken drastic measures against themselves, as a result of bullying inflicted upon them. The most striking part of the brief to me is when Ashton addresses that adults must set a good example and create a bully-free environment for children, if we want children to abstain from bullying one another. It seems like a simple concept, but all too often, adults get wrapped up in controversy and mean spirited ways. If this is what a child experiences, it is likely they will take this behavior out on others. When thinking about the reasons children bully others, one issue comes to mind first, that someone else has bullied the bully.

Whether one believes a bully has become a bully because someone has first bullied them matters, but not as much as how we address the bully. They can not be ignored either. It is obvious the person doing the bullying is crying out for help, too. Ignoring that there are issues going on with inside them would be a mistake and an even bigger mistake if they continue to hurt others due to their own personal conflicts.

On the survivingbullies.org website, which was suggested by a commenter on the CBSnews brief, there are many tools and lots of information that can be useful in addressing this problem. I think we still have a long way to go, though. Also in the above summarized article, Ashton mentions how bullying used to be seen as a “rite of passage” that it would help toughen a child up. At this point in time that thinking seems uninformed. Expecting children to toughen up at the mercy of a bully is no longer acceptable. Instead we need to be teaching children what to do when faced with bullying, we need to educate other children on how to react when they see a peer bullied and most importantly educate all on what to do when this behavior is recognized. Children already live in a tough enough world. We do not need to allow bullies to make it harder for them. Educate. Educate. Educate.

Blog based of article found at http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504544_162-20003176-504544.html

New Health Care Bill Puts Kids First

The view point article by Dr. Johnston, demonstrates citizens of the U.S. and in particular doctors in the U.S. do support health care reform. Dr. Johnston, a pediatrician, outlines in his article many positive impacts the health care reform bill is going to have on U.S. children and their families. He notes that children will not be denied health insurance because of a pre-existing condition, which is also important for children who have significant special care needs.

As Dr. Johnson outlines, reimbursement is going to improve for the providers who give medical care to children. Specifically, time and access according to Dr. Johnson are going to improve for children and their families because the medical care providers are going to be more supported. Even more striking is within the bill where it supports preventative care and in the article it says, out of pocket co-pays for regular preventative checkups are not required. Dr. Johnson reports if children lead healthy lives in childhood, it is more likely they will lead healthier adult lives

Lastly, he states the mission of the American Academy of Pediatrics and their mission, which wants every child to live their best life possible. Dr. Johnson says this mission is closer to being met due to the health reform care bill because of the “Bright Futures” program where families can seek guidance on the health of their children. Additionally, young adults can now be covered on their parent’s insurance policy until the age of 26, which helps stop the gamble young adults are having when deciding not to carry health insurance or not carrying adequate health insurance. He also does not suggest this change will be easy, but in his opinion there are “positive changes” taking place for “children, their parents and grandparents.”

I chose this article because I feel the opinion of a pediatrician is important to highlight. His opinion matters on what is happening with health care reform and children. Doctors, like Dr. Johnson are on the front lines and caring for America’s children and their voice should be heard on health care reform this complex. It is also imperative to address the fact that he is speaking about the reform realistically. Dr. Johnson acknowledges that this will not be an easy change and the media has shown us that the reception of the reform bill is extremely mixed.

I agree with the many points he makes, as a student and young adult having the option to remain on my parent’s insurance policy until the age of 26 is very appealing. It seems that having this option will ensure that young adults reduce the risk of going untreated for disorders or health issues because they did not go to the doctor because of a lack of insurance or inadequate insurance. Additionally, the point he makes that I feel the strongest about is that preventative care will be stressed and encouraged. Preventing long-term health problems in children, leads to healthier more productive adults. It seems absurd to me that such care not be given to children or any U.S. citizen for that matter.

In conclusion, I am also pleased to read that medial providers will be reimbursed and adequately compensated for the care they provide to America’s children. There will always be a need for health care providers and I believe supporting them, in turn, causes children to be cared for even better. I think it will be interesting to see what happens with the reform, while I do not understand all the complexities it brings; I support reform that will have a positive impact on America’s children.

For more information:
http://www.childrenshealthfund.org/advocacy/health-care-for-kids/health-reform

http://www.childrenshealthfund.org/content/grading-health-care-reform-house-bill

Snack Generation

The beginning of March marks the start of National Nutrition Month, which is a nutrition education and information campaign created by the American Dietetic Association. As we try to focus our attentions on the importance of healthy eating and exercise, a glaring trend in the United States must be addressed. Children and adolescents today are facing dramatically higher rates of obesity compared to the recent past, and according to one recent study done by the Trust for America’s Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, childhood obesity rates have more than tripled since 1980. Also, according to this study, obese or overweight children represent greater than or equal to 30% of all children in 30 different states, with Louisiana ranking 7th nationally having 35.9% of children considered overweight or obese (F as in Fat: How Obesity Policies Are Failing in America 2009). These statistics show just how important and widespread this issue is, and the need for healthy and active lifestyles seems more pertinent now than ever.
The causes of obesity and overweight children can be attributed to a number of different factors, from lack of exercise, staying indoors, lack of nutritional meals, etc. However one recent trend seems to show that snacking is one major factor in this epidemic. Snacking, for many children, has replaced the traditional three nutritional meals of the day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Instead of eating healthy foods at these times, children are filling up on calories from foods that provide little to no nutritional value, such as cookies, salty snacks, and fruit drinks. Children eat snacks on average about three times per day, accounting for about “27 percent of an average child’s total daily calories”. Children today are eating more frequently and consuming more calories, but are eating less nutritional foods and performing fewer physical activities. Dr. Popkin explains, “My underlying fear is that we’re moving away from being hungry and eating for satiation to just eating… Food is there, and we eat”.
As we celebrate National Nutrition Month, we should focus more energy on teaching and implementing healthy eating habits with our children and adolescents so that they may continue the healthy lifestyle into adulthood. Obesity in America is becoming an epidemic and is the foundation for several medical problems like diabetes and cardiovascular issues. If we can nip the unhealthy lifestyles in the bud, during childhood, the effects have great potential and could possibly decrease the astronomical medical and health care costs we face as adults.

This blog is based on an article from the New York Times titled “U.S. Children: Generation Snack” by Tara Parker-Pope. To read this article, visit http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/02/u-s-children-generation-snack

Land the Helicopter Parents!

At this point in time, it is fair to say that people know what it means to be a helicopter parent. These hovering parents are enmeshed in their child’s life to an unhealthy extent. These parents often manage their child’s time and ensure their kid’s success. This parenting style has been widely discussed in newspapers, magazines, and TV. There are some benefits seen in helicopter parenting. Obviously, it is better to have an over-involved parent than a parent that is not involved at all, but many problems are seen in children of helicopter parents. Logically, problems arise during the time when kids leave their parents. This time is college.

There are a gross number of students in higher education that have lower levels of functioning because they had helicopter parents. These students lack the ability to manage their time, manage their money, motivate themselves to do work, do their laundry, cook their own food, find their way around campus, and the list goes one. Additionally, helicopter parents are notorious for ensuring their child’s success. In high school if little Timmy made a bad grade, mom could call the teacher and lobby for a B+ instead of a C-. In college, students who are used to being the “most special” and made great grades (some of which were negotiated by their parents) receive a rude awakening when they find out they are not the smartest in their college biology class. These kids can’t believe that their professor won’t curve their grades or let them do extra credit. Naturally, when all else has failed, these children in college will do the only thing they know how. They will call mom and dad.

Thank goodness that college, for the most part, does not support helicopter parenting. The New York Times reported on different tactics that universities in the Northeast employ to cut the cord from parents to kids. Scott Chesney, from the University of New Hampshire, wrote in an online letter to parents: ''I hope you see that at one level we embrace the notion of partnering with you to make your son's or daughter's experience as productive as possible. Frankly, however, we worry sometimes that your interventions may well be impeding your son's or daughter's climb toward independence." At the University of Vermont, students are employs as ''parent bouncers" during orientation to stop parents from wandering into workshops specified for students. Parents leave campus with magnets saying that they ought to ask their child before calling a professor, such as ''What do you think you need to do to work this out?" and ''Who have you talked to on campus about this?" These examples are just a few ways colleges are attempting to limit helicopter parenting.

Though these strategies are well intentioned and many times effective, technology and the nature of habitual behavior makes these parenting changes hard to enforce. Email, texting, and instant messaging keep parents as close as they want to be with their children. So what can be done? A start can be to begin these college interventions in high school. High school is when kids are trying to find autonomy and are skill building through trial and error. If you are a helicopter parent when your kid is seven or eight, you are being a good parent but if a parent is still micromanaging their 17 year old, something is wrong. High school professionals such as staff and educators can develop policy such as not negotiating grades with parents, facilitating helicopter parent support groups, and teaching parents the dangers of helicopter parenting. If these parents were to stop these behaviors, their children could become more independent and more prepared for their life as an adult in college and after. Thus, retention rates would increase on campuses all over the country. It is time we got back to supporting our kids and guiding them into adult hood instead of dragging them behind us.

Blog based on the New York Times article http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/11/business/yourmoney/11wcol.html

Recession Effects Kids the Most

It would be hard to ignore that children are on the wrong end of the receiving line during this recession. Where there is job loss, a child suffers. Where there are home foreclosures, children suffer. When money runs out for the electric bill, a child suffers and the where there is (fill in the blank) statements can go on and on. It is simple, when a child’s parent or parents suffer, the child suffers. The article, America’s children: Protecting the weakest, printed within the Economist magazine is a true demonstration about what struggles the country is experiencing.

The article begins with what could be considered, good news, stating that children placed in the foster care system was reportedly down 11% since 2002. However, this news is not expected to remain “good” for very long. According to the article, experts are predicting this decrease is going to go back up, finding more children again placed within the system. As a soon to be social work graduate, hoping to work within the child welfare system, I am concerned about the tasks ahead. No one ever said working in child welfare was easy, that’s not the concern; the concern exists because a system that is often lacking appropriate funds already is going to absorb even more cuts. This is what I believe the writer of the article means by stating, hurting America’s “most vulnerable children.”

The question here is, how can children whose parents, no longer able to support them, be supported by a system that may not be able to best support them either? Where is the best place for a child? We know of course, with their family, but when that is not an option, the child welfare system takes over. I think the article touches on a sensitive point, suggesting during times of hardship parents are more likely to harm their children. Is the system going to be able to sustain itself, in order to best serve these harmed children? Only time will tell. Another question exists, as a result of these projected cuts in money and ultimately services, how will we know if the reports and statistics are accurate? There may be a small bright side.

As a budding social worker I fear and have hope, that those who advocate on behalf of children and families will do so in full force. If social workers and child advocates are working hard to serve children, I believe their reports will be accurate giving us a better idea of how to best serve children in the future. The true test of people’s character and willingness to help is evident in times of hardship and while families and children are suffering, some are coming to their rescue. An organization and concept new to me, is that of Safe Families. Safe families as described in the article allows parents to leave their children with volunteer families, similar to foster families, only the children remain in their parent’s custody. As the article alludes, the recession has caused more people to come forward and help children and families out. This concept could possibly be developed into a new branch of the foster care system, where families can seek a safe alternative to providing for their children during the recession. While this may sound like idealist speech, I think during such times it is imperative to search outside of how we have always done things.

Consequently, the concern goes back to overloading an already overloaded system. If it is projected the number of families seeking help from this organization, Safe Families, is going to “double,” considering what this doubling could also mean for the foster care system is a must. For now, let’s hope organizations similar to Safe Families, are contributing throughout the United States; it seems many children would go underserved without them.

Sudanese Ceasefire Saves Lives of Children

On Tuesday February 23, 2010 the Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir’s is scheduled to formally sign an immediate cease-fire agreement with the Darfur rebel leaders. The chairman of the Justice and Equality Movement’s (JEM) legislative assembly (one of the rebel groups that is known for it’s violence against the people of Darfur), Dr. Tahir al-Fati, told CNN “a preliminary document for the framework agreement was signed Saturday in Chad between representatives of the two sides” (CNN, 2010).

The Sudanese government has been under pressure to promote peace and end the violence in Darfur, especially since the Sudanese President Al-Bashir was “charged with genocide by the International Criminal Court last year for the government’s campagn of violence in Darfur (CNN, 2010). They then began taking small steps towards peace last year by signing a “confidence-building agreement in Qatar” with the JEM (CNN, 2010).

According to the United Nations, over “300,000 people have been killed during over the past seven years from direct combat, disease or malnutrition… [and] an additional 2.7 million people fled their homes because of fighting among rebels, government forces and allied militias” (CNN, 2010). Many of these people have been children, either forced to fight or brainwashed into warfare.

This immediate ceasefire is momentous and highlights the effectiveness of peace talks and negotiations governments can have with opposing groups. This ceasefire will save hundreds of children's lives. However, it is important to note that the JEM is only one rebel force out of many (although it is perhaps the most powerful rebel army in the region), and there is still a long road ahead before Darfur can have any actual peace from this 7 year conflict. That being said, any chance that any of the 2.7 million displaced Sudanese currently living in refugee and aid camps finally have a chance to return home to peace rather than the killings, torturings, and rapings must provide a small glimmer of hope for these disenfranchised people.

The thought of the Sudanese government and the JEM coming together to discuss, negotiate and compromise also serves as an example for the U.S. and the world of how to handle foreign conflicts. The country and the people of Sudan can finally move on from the military conflicts that have been raging over the past 7 years and finally look toward the future and focus more on the challenges that are plaguing the people, such as rehabilitation, reconciliation, and the return of refugees to their villages and homes.

This blog was written based on an article on CNN.com titled “Sudanese government to sin formal peace deal with Darfur rebels” by Jennifer Z. Deaton. To see the full article go to:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/02/20/sudan.bashir.darfur/index.html

Same-Sex Marriage Legislation Affects our Kids.

“It doesn’t bother me to tell kids my parents are gay. It does bother me to say my parents aren’t married.” These statements were made by ten year old Kasey Nicholson-McFadden at a hearing in the State House of Trenton, NJ. Tons of supporters and protestors came out on a cold December day last year when Karen and Marcye Nicholson-McFadden appeared before the New Jersey State Senate pleading for legislators to vote for same sex marriage. They are both the parents of Kasey and have been a family all his life. A month later on January 7, 2010, the New Jersey State Senate voted against same sex marriages, leaving Kasey, Marcye, and Karen devastated.

In 2008 about 116,000 same-sex couples all over the United States were raising a total of about 250,000 children under age 18, according to a study of Census data by Gary J. Gates, a demographer of the gay and lesbian population at the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles, law school (New York Times, 2010). In a country that makes many poor choices in legislation, our children are an area where law makers usually get things right. However, it is hard to believe that legislators on the State or Federal level are considering the wishes of children when continuously voting against same sex marriages. Kasey verbalized that when he could not say his parents were married, it made him feel like his family was less than his friends whose mom and dad are “married.” Legislators need to think of the implications voting against same-sex marriages have on the children who are being raised by same sex couples.

Kasey’s comments stir up a sense of pride because there is a very deep and bold message in his words. When he described not minding to tell his peers that his parents are gay meant that he has a level of comfort with his peer’s perception of his parents. One cannot assume that kids don’t make fun of Kasey for having a “different” family compared to the majority but logic would tell us that there are probably a good number of his peers who see same sex partnerships just as “normal” as traditional man/woman partnerships. If this is true, then our country’s citizens (some being children) have come a long way with open-mindedness and tolerance. Kids in our country can see that love is love, and parents are parents, but so many legislators fail to see this connection.

Is it right that a person can spend their whole life loving their partner, caring for their partner, and building a life with their partner not to have the legal benefits of marriage? Marcye and Karen file separate taxes, have non-marital life insurance, and cannot have a family health insurance plan which amasses to having to spend more money than traditional married couples would on similar things. All of these inconveniences trickle down to Kasey whose life is affected by these regulations. Any family that can save approximately $500 per month can positively impact their kid’s life in some way. Zach Wahls, a freshman at the University of Iowa whose mothers married this last summer in Iowa, one of the few states where same-sex marriage is legal, said, “At the end of the day, it’s really about separate but equal. This isn’t just about lesbian and gay; it’s about tolerance and acceptance.” Zach is right.

Who knows when or if same sex-marriages will be legal in every state but it is high time legislators consider the wishes of 250,000 children who desire to see their family as legitimate. If same-sex legislation is passed in all states then perhaps more children would become adopted by same sex partners, which is one step closer to eliminating children without families. If children can get put first on same-sex legislation, it might help open the mind of legislators and help millions of people legally legitimize their commitment to each other.

This blog was written based a story in the NY Times titled, “Children Speak on Same Sex Marriage.” To check out this article go to:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/21/fashion/21kids.html?scp=10&sq=Children&st=cse